SOCIAL MEDIA

June 20, 2013

My Dogs Are Murderers

WARNING!
This post contains gruesome pictures that will haunt you in your sleep.
 Don't let them fool you.  These furry four-legged things are cold-blooded murderers!

It's just a beautiful sunshiney day and my alarm goes off and I'm attempting to crawl out of bed and I glanced over at the dog bed and in the dark there looks like a pile of shit sitting on it.  DAMN DOGS.  

But wait, if someone pooped in the house, I would've smelled it.  Especially that close to my bed.  So I investigate further.

What.the.fuck.  This is what I find. 



Yup, that's a dead baby bird. IN MY EFFING BEDROOM. How disgusting!  Since when did dogs leave presents on your doorstep in the form of dead animals like cats?!

I got a roll some paper towels to make sure I didn't touch it and picked it up and OMG just feeling it in my hands all limp and cold was JUST AWFUL.

A couple of weeks later I come home after work and the dogs are fussing over something.  That happens sometimes, no biggie. I turn on all the lights and I see something in the kitchen floor...

What the hell is that? I go in for a closer look...

Oh.My.Fucking.Gosh.

THERE'S A DECAPITATED BUNNY IN MY KITCHEN FLOOR! THUMPER IS DEAD AND HIS HEAD IS LYING IN MY EFFING KITCHEN FLOOR!! 

I'm mortified.  I'm yelling. My dogs are running away from me because I'm yelling.  I'm trying to keep the dogs away from their "catch" while figuring out how I'm going to get it off my floor without touching it.  Hell, I remembered how nasty it was touching the dead bird, much less A BUNNY HEAD! 

I grabbed a plastic bag and just lifted the blanket it was on and dropped the head into the bag.  And took it immediately outside.  

omigosh, that means there is a bunny body out there somewhere! I haven't seen it... yet. 

Moral of the story: Don't let your dogs lick you... especially in the face. 


I apologize for all the animals harmed during the making of this post. It makes me want to cry. I will punish all of the dogs to the full extent of doggie law.


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