April 19, 2013

Wanted: Cleaning Fairy

It seems that between 4 dogs, working 40+ hours (plus commuting) a week, and never feeling too hot, that my house is always a disaster. I tell myself that I should do one chore each night so that I don't get overwhelmed. But all the time sometimes I'm just dang tired and wanna sit in bed and watch my DVR and eat double chocolate fudge ice cream low-fat frozen yogurt, ya kno?

So I'm on the search for a cleaning fairy.

She has to be able to deal with multiple four-legged furkids. This might not sound like that big of a deal, but they must be present in whatever room you are trying to clean. They must also stand IN the dirt you're trying to sweep up. And of course, they are the ones that caused the disaster in the first place. Exhibit A:

She also has to do a great job with large quantities of dirty dishes. This is seriously my least favorite chore. And even though I have a dishwasher (now that I've had one, I won't go back!!), I always have a sinkful of dishes. I always swore to myself I would put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher, but that only works if you put the clean dishes up... so see Exhibit B:

My worst habits? I won't do the dishes until I have used the last mixing bowl for cereal (hey, its a bowl too!) and I usually don't consume leftovers, so leftovers stay in tupperware in my fridge for years weeks. Yuck. (Hey, better than growing mold in the sink amiright?)

I'm also allergic to dust, so I need a cleaning fairy with good dusting skills. Okay I'm lying. I am allergic to dust mites, but the cleaning fairy needs to dust because I just don't. And I refuse to show you the layer of dust on my ceiling fans. Or the back of my TV. I mean, how does that stuff even get there?

And of course, what would a cleaning fairy be without doing laundry? As previously stated in Five Lists of 5, I LOVE undies! Its just a perk that having tons of cute undies means less laundry. Except the problem all women have of never having anything to wear (when the walk-in closet is overflowing, I've run out of hangers, and B has never seen me wear half the items in said walk-in closet). Exhibit C:

Bonus points for a cleaning fairy that cleans baseboards, doggie nose prints off the windows, takes out the trash, and changes the air filter (I always forget to do that!)

Oh, and did I mention I needed this cleaning fairy to do all these tasks gratis? Like for free yo. This chick don't have money for no maid!

Spread the word peeps.

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